Good concept & progression...
...but it doesn't seem like there is enough diversity. My ears where craving a nice big buildup into a nice big chorus, but it never really came. The music doesn't lend itself to being this long without some additional changes and instruments being dropped in and out.
It's also evident that the patterns in the drums are very Hip-Hop influenced, and not so much built around a rock mentality or rock drum kit. Basically, a human rock drummer would never play the drums to this song like this, however a lot of Corporate R&B drums sound this way.
I hope that this review helps! I did like the song, and I am only offering what I hope is constructive criticism to make the future of your music that much better.